The past few days, Preston has been very inquisitive about some very deep things for a 4 year old (or maybe they aren’t deep, just surprising to us!). Every night before bed, he has said how much he loves us and how he wants to “keep us forever.” He asks if we will always be with him and makes us promise to never leave him. These questions/statements break my heart and show me he is growing up all at the same time. We have reassured him that we will always be here; in return, he says “promise?” Well, we know that the kid NEVER forgets, so we tell him that “even if we aren’t here, right here, with you, we’ll always be in your heart and in your head. Just like how GOD is always with you even when you can’t see or hear him.”

And then the whomper question came…I guess we should have been prepared, given the past few nights discussions that this question would be coming, but it still threw us for a loop. I was the lucky recipient of the question “Where do you go when you aren’t here anymore?” After asking for clarification, I concluded that, yes, he was talking about death. I explained that when people die, they go up to Heaven to be with GOD and they are so happy. And that we need to be happy for those people because now they won’t be sick, hurt anymore. This was such a difficult conversation to have, because I can’t IMAGINE living without my kids or my family.

Every night since “the talk” we have talked about it more and more. I hope it gets easier, although I know, it never will.